Dr. Chavi Kahn joins Anne and Shoshanna to reflect on the legacy of her father, Rabbi Moshe Kahn, z”l, beloved Talmud rebbe at Stern College — and the recent brouhaha when Stern (temporarily) cancelled its lower level course offerings in Talmud. Why does it matter whether Stern College offers Talmud to its female students? And why should women be learning Talmud to begin with?
Music: “Misery” by The Whips
Anne and Shoshanna are guests on Rabbi Scott Kahn’s Orthodox Conundrum podcast to talk about men’s and women’s spaces in Orthodoxy.
Music: “Happy Rock” by bensound.com
June 29, 2022
Chochmat Nashim is distressed by the manner in which many in the Orthodox Jewish community have reacted to the overturning of Roe v. Wade. As an organization that stands up for the voices, images, rights, and representation of Jewish women, and as an organization committed to Halacha, we fully recognize the complexity of the topic of abortion in the public arena. Halacha does not permit abortion “on demand,” a phrase that for some in the so-called “pro-life” camp has come to suggest “for no reason” (women don’t have abortions “for no reason”).
At the same time, the recent Supreme Court decision puts the lives and wellbeing of Orthodox women, some of whose stories you can read below, in grave danger. The states that are taking full advantage of the new “carte blanche” to ban abortion will not allow Orthodox residents who are halachically allowed, or even required, to abort. We would encourage the Orthodox people and organizations that are cheering the overturning of Roe v. Wade to reckon with the loss of religious freedom for Orthodox Jews, when rabbis permit or require abortion and the secular state will not allow it.
We would like to pause and recognize the realities for women who terminate their pregnancies, which even the most empathetic and compassionate men will not experience, in their own words:
Taken from personal testimonies and Avital Chizik Goldschmidt in The Forward
The public response in the Orthodox world toward the overturning of Roe v. Wade, particularly when it includes celebratory glee, indicates that the true facts of abortion in the world at large, and in the frum world specifically, are not widely known.
Women at serious physical or mental risk are discounted because they are presumed to be the extremely rare exception to the healthy rule. In addition, many more pregnancies are not compatible with life than the recent public response acknowledges. Moreover, terrible events, such as the incest a 13-year-old girl experienced from her father, or the rape of a 15-year-old girl by her therapist, happen in the Orthodox community far more than anyone wants to acknowledge. Those who support bans with exceptions for incest or rape should note even in these cases, the process is not simple: state requirements may include reporting the crime, which means public shame and communal shunning for girls who should be eligible to end the pregnancies forced on them, without adding to their trauma and pain.
We call on those who support abortion bans and severe limitations to read the statistics on who actually receives abortions and at what point in pregnancy — and ask themselves if their stance reflects reality, the needs of the community, and Halacha. Judaism has always been a religion of nuance, with its appreciation of the “middle ground.” It is not the approach of those Catholics, for example, who treat each fetus as a living being, equal to the status of its mother. In Judaism, the question of abortion is a serious one for each woman who must grapple with it, given her own circumstances, likely in conjunction with her doctor, her rabbi, and, where relevant, her husband.
When Orthodox Jews support state bans and restrictions on abortion, they put secular law over the Torah, in ways that endanger the lives and wellbeing of Jewish women and girls, superseding the Jewish obligation to “live according to the mitzvot” (וחי בהם), with all the nuance and individuation of rabbinic authority.
The Jewish internet has been ablaze the past few weeks with extreme cases of get refusal and domestic abuse. These cases have highlighted what is wrong — and what can be right — about Jewish marriage and divorce.
Shira Isakov was beaten nearly to death by her husband on the eve of Rosh Hashana last year in Mitzpe Rimon, Israel. After months of surgery and rehabilitation, she filed for divorce. Her husband, Aviad Moshe, refused. The case drew national headlines for weeks and the public was suitably outraged. The rabbinic court judges threatened Moshe, already in jail for her assault, with solitary confinement. He gave the get.
In the US, Chava Sharabani has been waiting over 10 years for her get. Her refuser, Naftali Sharabani, lives freely in Los Angeles. When singer Dalia Oziel posted about Chava’s plight on her Instagram account, asking her followers to share the information about Naftali’s refusal, she sparked a revolution. Jewish women continue to follow the story and have posted Naftali’s face and name thousands of times. Oziel has not let up and in the words of the Lakewood Beth Din, succeeded in doing what they couldn’t (getting Naftali to respond to the Beth Din) for what they had considered a “dead case”.
There are many Shiras and Chavas — thousands of Jewish women around the world waiting for their freedom. The only reason these two have seen movement in the rabbinic courts is the public attention they garnered. In Israel alone, there are numerous other women, abused by their husbands and still awaiting their freedom.
It should not take a national outcry or an Instagram influencer to get the Jewish courts to free these women.
It must be said that there are options within Jewish law to dissolve dead marriages. They have been used for millennia. However, none of these are universally accepted and though there are brave rabbis and courts who do use them, they’ve been all but abandoned by most.
But there are steps that rabbinic organisations and courts around the world can take immediately, even without using halachic tools, to make a massive difference for women.
First, refuse extortion. Naftali, like many other husbands witholding a get, is demanding money in exchange for his wife’s freedom. Rabbinic courts need to shut this down. It must be made clear that a woman’s freedom is not up for ransom and that rabbis won’t sanction such behaviour. No woman should be made to pay for her freedom.
Second, recognise get refusal as abuse. In the UK, coercive or controlling behaviour laws have been used to free women since 2019, allowing them to receive a get. The threat of criminal action was the motivation these men needed to free their wives. The rabbinic courts should follow this lead. Shira won her freedom because images of her slashed face were on every major newspaper and media outlet. The Beth Din could not possibly deny the abuse done to her. There must be the same zero tolerance in all cases.
Third, make a wall of shame. Get refusers should not be able to live free and in the clear while chaining their spouses up. Their names and pictures should be publicised and kept on a database accessible to the public. Numerous men have given the get when faced with widespread public condemnation.
Fourth, no cold cases. The idea that Chava, a 35-year-old woman, is considered a “dead case” while her husband runs free in LA is shocking. Many cases in rabbinic courts have been resolved simply by not giving up and using creative thinking to solve them. The notion that we “give up” and raise our hands in defeat, allowing a man (women can refuse too but it is far more often men who deny a get) to chain his wife to a dead marriage is unacceptable.
Fifth, halachic prenups. While not currently used in UK rabbinic courts, these documents are used to prevent get abuse by starting a couple on the right foot, protecting one another from their worst selves. The document calls for an upkeep sum to be paid by the spouse that refuses divorce after a certain amount of time, incentivising the spouse to recognise that the marriage is over.
These concepts can be easily implemented, should we choose to protect the dignity of Jewish women and the integrity of Jewish marriage. Civil courts, social media shaming, public interest; is this the best we can do for Jewish marriage? Let Shira and Chava be the impetus for systemic change. Let us declare: No more get abuse.
Originally published in The Jewish Chronicle
What does one wear to the world’s first women’s Siyum HaShas event?
The question I posed on social media was a joke, a play on the idea of worrying about surface appearances at any event celebrating women’s achievements. But it also wasn’t a joke. What does one wear to the first major celebration of women’s achievements in Talmud learning, a “before and after” moment that will affect our community for ages to come?
A Siyum HaShas celebrates the conclusion of a cycle of Daf Yomi — literally a daily page — of Talmud, which was instituted in 1923 by Rabbi Meir Shapiro of Lublin and brings lomdim (those who study) through the entire Talmud in 7 years and 5 months.
It is true that completing a page of Talmud a day does not a Torah scholar make. And it is true that we are blessed with female Torah scholars whose knowledge of the Talmud, halacha and other areas of Jewish learning is deep and well beyond a daf a day. Yet, Daf Yomi and the Siyum HaShas has always been nearly an exclusively male experience. An event in Jerusalem marking women’s completion en masse is simply unprecedented.
In response to my question of what to wear, one person responded: Not a wig!
But in fact, as we stood in line with hundreds of other women (and some men) in the frigid Jerusalem air on Sunday, we saw wigs, falls, hats, scarves, berets and some with no head coverings at all. The event didn’t belong to any one segment or denomination of women — it belonged to us all.
Through chattering teeth, women discussed things they had cancelled, ignored or asked their husbands to deal with so that they could attend the event. The atmosphere among the attendees was one of excitement and anticipation; we were taking part in a seminal event for women and the entire Jewish community.
As an activist for women in Orthodoxy, I’m often witness to where women are excluded, sidelined and shut out. I know women harmed by the system, treated horribly by those meant to aid them, and I regularly see women erased. Being here, where women carved a space for themselves, created a platform and taught and learned Talmud, was perhaps more gratifying to me than most. Here, I was seeing the future, the way things could be, the way things should be.
Women well into their eighties joined babies, teenagers and over 1,100 midrasha (gap year yeshivot for young women) students who were there to witness their teachers and friends celebrate their achievements. About 150 men joined as well, knowing that learning Torah is always something to celebrate.
When Rabbanit Michelle Farber, who has taught a daily Daf Yomi class for women for the past 7-plus years, took the stage, a roaring standing ovation filled the hall. Farber had done something no other woman in history had done, and with her, she brought thousands upon thousands of women and men across the Jewish world along for the ride.
Every female scholar that took the stage or was shown in a video clip was met with cheering generally reserved for rock stars, mainly led by the hundreds of teenagers in the balcony.
Tears fell from my eyes as I realized that far from screaming for Justin Bieber, these young women were cheering in awe off their female role models — the women who taught them that the Torah is theirs and that they can achieve, embrace and own Torah scholarship.
Rabbanit Esti Rosenberg began her remarks by thanking her father, Rav Aharon Lichtenstein, of blessed memory, and her grandfather Rabbi Joseph B. Solovetchik, of blessed memory, for opening the doors for women’s learning.
“When my father and grandfather opened up Torah to women, I don’t think it was so much because of what they thought about women, but about what they thought about Torah. They couldn’t imagine life without it.”
The lone man to take the stage was Rav Benny Lau, and Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks sent in a video of congratulations. The rest of the evening featured a veritable who’s who of female Torah scholars, and each was greeted with thunderous cheers and applause.
While celebrating, there was no talk of equality, status, leadership or titles. The featured speakers didn’t talk about leadership — they modeled it. Every speaker was impressive, each one a role model.
When I congratulated Rabbanit Farber, I asked her if she understood that she has changed the world for women and girls in Torah learning. She told me that it hadn’t sunk in yet.
Perhaps from her view on stage, she couldn’t see the reactions of the audience, the tears in the eyes of the women who for so long had felt so left out. Perhaps she couldn’t distinguish the younger girls cheering for each scholar among the roars of the audience. And clearly, she couldn’t see our hearts bursting with pride. I hope that she reads the posts, the articles and the messages that have flooded social media.
From them, it’s clear to see that the event showed the world that women’s scholarship is real and adds immensely to the Jewish world.
As we left the hall, the young women streamed down from the balcony into the stairwell and broke out into spontaneous singing and dancing on the landing. They danced for Torah, they danced for the women who achieved and they danced for themselves — for the bright and open future they now face.
As more and more women master Torah and halacha, the problems we face will be addressed differently. For while learning Torah should always be about learning Torah, it must also be about improving our community.
What should one wear to the women’s Siyum HaShas? The crown of Torah, of course.
If a picture speaks a thousand words, these images scream volumes. Taken a few weeks ago in the ancient cemetery of Tsfat, they show two sides of the same grave. Rav Yosef Caro zt”l was a mystic, and the author of the Shulchan Aruch, among other works. Thousands come to pray at his graveside. Some have total access to the monument. They can touch it, kiss it, cry on it. Others can talk to the wall behind it.
I cannot think of a better pair of images to illustrate the state of Orthodoxy today, where there is one open accessed reality for men, and one increasingly restrictive reality for women.
You see, today, in Orthodoxy, a man can:
And a woman can:
And she cannot:
Should she seek to change these policies, and ask:
…she can expect to be called a “feminist with an agenda.”
Why are God fearing, religious women being increasingly shut out? Why are our motivations constantly and consistently questioned?
Why are the things that mean so much to us, walled off from us? And who gave the wall- builders that right?
Why is male access guaranteed, while female access shrinks?
The contrast between the way that the Orthodox community in general treats men with the way it treats women has never been stronger. Time and again, we see that men are “innocent until proven guilty.” It might be more accurate to say “innocent even when proven guilty.”
Yet for women, it is almost the opposite: women are “presumed guilty until proven innocent.” Even the wish to dance with a Torah scroll on Simchat Torah is considered subversive unless it can be “proven” to come from a pure, spiritual place.
Once we stood at Sinai together, men and women, “like one person with one heart.” Today, the heart of Orthodoxy is broken, splintered into a dangerous and gaping divide.
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